The Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Deck

A few days after Hurricane  tropical storm Irene hit the week before last, I thought it would be a good idea to swing by the house that we’re buying to make sure that, you know….it still exists. Fortunately, There were only a few small branches down in the front yard. Then I walked to the back.

The deck was gone. And I don’t mean that it was destroyed and in wind-damaged pieces. Clearly, it had been purposely and physically removed from the property. Only sad deck-remnants remained. I took some great pictures with our “nice” camera, but now that most of our things are in storage (like for example, the USB cable that connects the camera to a computer) it looks like those pictures will have to reside on the camera’s memory card for now. Just trust me on this one – it wasn’t pretty.

Since my pictures are trapped on my camera, I decided that this Simpsons version of my favorite board game, Clue, accurately captures my complex emotions.

Naturally, I called our real estate agent and informed her of the…changes to the property. It only took a few phone calls to learn that the property manager for the bank has absolutely no intention of replacing the deck. It took a few more phone calls to our lawyer to learn that they really are not legally allowed to make those kinds of changes to the property after they’ve signed a contract. I agreed to buy a house with a rotted deck, dammit, so I’m entitled to my rotted deck! Of course, if we can swing a brand new deck, I’ll live with my in-laws for as long as it takes – thankyouverymuch.

We’re also in a bit of a catch-22 with the mortgage. The same contract that ensures that we get a deck, also holds us responsible for proving that we can get financing. Our lender won’t do that unless the FHA repairs are made. The bank won’t make FHA repairs unless we prove we can get financing.  That issue is a lot less interesting, a lot more frustrating, and a lot more paperwork. But the suspense is killing me. Seriously. I should probably get my blood pressure checked out.

To be continued….

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